There is a simplicity and richness to life at the beach that reminds me of God's spirit. It can be felt in the pounding of the surf or the gentle breeze against the skin. It can be seen where the ocean meets the sky and colors of green change to turquoise and then to sky blue. The taste of the salt in the air. It can be felt in the sand between the toes as the waves roll lightly over the feet. There is a depth to experiencing these things that can easily be missed.
Going through life without God’s Spirit makes everything mundane and common. Going through life with God’s spirit brings vibrancy and abundance. The only difference is the spirit!
The mornings can be a challenge for me. That’s why I start the day fighting! And I have some great friends that have committed to fight alongside me. Today AJ Page joined me to start the day right.
It was humbling. I could see how much strength I have lost in just 4 weeks. My physical body is weaker but I feel my inner man gaining strength. These natural trials are making me exercise my mind of faith each day—that’s a good thing! AJ kicked my butt this morning and I am so thankful for it. I need to keep getting stronger for this battle that is in front of me—mentally, spiritually and physically.
After our workout, we were walking down the street and I saw these flowers. Purple. The color for pancreatic cancer. Just a little reminder this morning that this fight is beautiful. And it is changing me. And I am getting to know God better. I am experiencing Him deeper. I am feeling Him closer. And I have never lived life in the way I am right now. I am so grateful.
I would love to hear what you are thankful for today. It does so much for me to hear from you all and connect with people that I haven’t heard from in a long time. I am thankful that this diagnosis has given me a reason to reconnect with so many people. And to speak boldly and share openly and live fully.
Updated: May 25, 2021
Yesterday Laura and I did a video call with a top pancreatic surgeon in the country, who we met through a connection at her job (yet another great story!).
After all the medical experiences I've had over the past few weeks, I was definitely preparing for a fight to NOT focus on numbers or statistics or anything that would tell me what isn't possible. But when Laura and I hung up the call, I felt something totally unexpected.
I felt inspired. I felt peace. I felt settled.
Things that can only come from God's spirit! This was probably the first call talking through my current medical situation where I felt so much encouragement—and it was a game changer for me.
Most surgeons in the top of their field aren't really known for their bedside manner. But this doctor showed so much care throughout the call. He told me it was an honor to be able to spend time with me and review my case. He said I've read through every page and looked through every scan, and I've talked to thousands of patients like you with pancreatic cancer. He said they would love to check in and see how things go with my treatments, and he would love to have me come up there and be his patient. Wow, that was God!
After that, his nurse practitioner joined the call. She told me they've had so many patients who have had this same treatment and kept going. She even told me about a patient she calls the "bionic man"—a heli skier who jumps out of helicopters and skis on days in between his treatments. This man is so full of metal rods and pins from all the bones he's broken along the way, she was convinced it wouldn't be the cancer that finally gets him—it would probably be one of his adventures. I just laughed. I loved hearing about somebody living life like that, and that's part of why I want to keep sharing my journey with you—because we ALL can live, no matter how much time we have left!
This was just another example to me that God knows how to make things go. I have to tell you guys, I appreciate understanding where peace and joy and settledness come from. Not from the information, not from the person, but from God. My circumstances haven't changed, but God keeps adding to me spiritually, and that means so much!
That call yesterday was a miracle for me. I love how God tells His story. It's HIS story, not my story. He uses each of us as a pen to write, but it's the story that's written—not the pen—that's important. I just want God to be glorified, and I know He is through what Laura and I are experiencing.
