I titled this post, “Greater Good” because I ate at Greater Good BBQ today. I love BBQ ribs.
But as I wrote the title, it hit me. God is really doing a “greater good” in me. All of this has been working for my good. Days like today are more challenging. I spent most of the day in the hospital and doctors’ offices getting labs, tests, and having meetings about my upcoming treatment at Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University.
There was a lot of information coming at me. A lot of details about medicines and medical trials, and plans of treatment. My fight every day, but especially on days like today, is not to get caught up in all the information the doctors need to tell me. I can hear the information, but my mental battle is to keep looking at God and to keep trusting him. It can be easy to start to feel things (worry about what chemo is going to be like or how it will affect me), or what trial will have the best results in my situation, or even the things in my own mind that would want to put limits around time.
These are the days that I fight like hell to keep looking up. To trust what God is doing with me and in me. To hold on to the truth that God is in control and He has purposed me to go through this circumstance to get to know Him better and to share that with others.
The ribs were good. The conversation at lunch was better. Laura and my friend Shawn reminded me about how I have always believed that God is a God of miracles. That, for as long as I can remember, there has been a stubbornness and fight in me to believe that God is exactly who He says He is. There is a fight in me to believe that He is good. There is a fight in me to believe that He can do anything. Nothing is impossible with Him. Today, I am fighting to hold on to all of those things.
After we were done with all the appointments and blood draws and packets of information, I did what I love to do. I got together with a group of friends and I started to share about the things that God has been doing with me in this process. Honestly, talking about God has been the best medicine for me in this process. It is the thing that makes me feel the best and gives me the most energy. As we were talking tonight, we got inspired about starting a podcast so I can share my story. This is the best way for me to fight right now.
So look for a podcast series to come soon - Awake w/ JMak!
